Criticism and Narcissism

I am kind of sick of seeing people dragging others down. It doesn’t matter if it’s your friend,  a celebrity, a family member, a stranger. The amount of times I come across negative comments, both on the internet and out in the world, is really heartbreaking.

The thing about negative comments is that most people think it’s okay as long as the person targeted doesn’t hear them. But that is not the point.

A stranger walks past you in the street. You don’t like the way she dresses, because it’s not your style. You could tell your friend that you think she looks horrendous, or sneak a picture to send to somebody, or tweet about the horrifying sight that you just saw. We’re all guilty of looking at somebody and thinking oh god those shoes are really ugly or that hair is so tacky. But consider this: what they are wearing makes that person happy. They put on their outfit, or styled their hair that way, or did their makeup like that, and then they looked in the mirror and felt good about themselves. That person chooses to dress that way because they like it. They feel sexy in that short skirt, empowered in that blazer, or tough in those boots. And frankly, it’s not your place to decide what makes them feel good. Your opinion on somebody’s looks, in a nutshell, does not matter.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase “what Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally”. It does not matter if Linda from accounting never hears that you called her perm a disaster. It does not matter if Kim Kardashian never reads that tweet you sent calling her a slut. The point is that you said it. You took time out of your day to say something hurtful about another person, to bring them down for something that might make them the happiest person in the world. Maybe you wouldn’t get married after six months, but that doesn’t give you the right to tell somebody that they are wrong for doing so. Maybe you would never be caught dead buying boots from ShoeZone, but someone else might think they’re the comfiest shoes in the world. Maybe you wouldn’t ever dye your hair blue, but some people feel really badass with blue hair. Give your negativity a rest. Being judgemental is boring.

There is more to life than your opinion. There are other perspectives that are just as valid as yours. You may not share common interests, and maybe you wouldn’t do what they do or wear what they wear, but that does not entitle you to say something mean about them. As long as they’re not offending anybody, let people do what they want. Your sly comment isn’t going to change anything. You may think that you’ve got everything right, and that your way of living and dressing and thinking is the correct way, but life isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Let people do whatever makes them happy, and stop thinking so much about what other people are doing. Focus on your own life and what makes you happy.

There is far too much negativity in this world, and at a time where people are constantly spreading hate, be the light that you want to see in the world. Bring somebody up, not down. Spend your time looking for compliments to give, appreciating differences without criticising, and spreading love.

In the words of Thumper the rabbit, “if you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all”.

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