Okay, here’s the deal. Makeup is my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time. I spend a ridiculous amount of money on the stuff, and my makeup bag is the size of a small suitcase. I have more foundations than I know what to do with, a lipstick for every outfit, and different mascaras for work, casual outings, and fancy nights out. I love watching makeup tutorials and imagining all the looks I could create. But do I ever create them? No.
The fact is, I hate applying makeup. I hate the long routine and the seemingly hundreds of products that I have to sieve through. I hate the ten minutes I spend in front of the mirror before work, trying to make my overgrown eyebrows look somewhat groomed, and trying to cover that giant hormonal spot that appeared on my chin overnight (which, to be honest, I always think looks better before I tried to cover it). I would much rather spend those extra ten minutes in bed, and go to work fresh faced. But the sad thing is that I feel obliged to make myself up every day, whether it’s a ten minute job before leaving the house, or spending a good hour blending at my eyeshadow and trying to achieve the most precise eyeliner possible.
There is so much pressure to look good every day, but honestly I can’t be bothered. I’ve gotten lazy when it comes to my makeup nowadays, aiming for the least amount of work possible and leaving the house looking half-done. My skin isn’t the kind of flawless, poreless canvas that can get away with being left alone, but spending ages blending out foundation is the last thing I want to do every day.
And yet, despite all of this, I just can’t seem to stop buying the stuff. A new foundation came out? Get that on my face immediately. That eyeshadow palette must be mine, even though I already own all the colours in different palettes. Yes I do already have a lipstick this colour, but this one is matte. I can’t be stopped. I watch all the YouTube tutorials, and something inside me just breaks. It’s like I need that blusher more than I need food next week, even though I know full well that I use the same blusher every single day and I have done for months. I can’t remember the last time I wore eyeshadow, but this £39 palette is obviously vital right now.
I don’t know why I do it, and I don’t know why makeup deliveries bring me so much joy when I hate applying the stuff so much. I hate the feel of it on my face, and yet I continue to splatter everything from the expensive glass bottles on my face.
I envy those people with flawless skin that can roll out of bed and through the front door without a second thought. I know that I could do that too, but I’d look more like a real-life moon emoji rather than an effortless beauty. So until the day I wake up looking like a goddess, I’ll continue to splurge on the stuff that makes me look a little more alive.